The first time we ran this competition the Silver Spoon Cafe finished dead last, by some margin. As you can read, HERE. But things can always improve, so four years on we're back for more.
We went for Medium Breakfasts as per the rules this year, and found that there are four different combinations of ingredients to pick from. I chose the B.C version which includes egg, 2 bacon, sausage, fried slice and beans, whereas Junior Sidekick opted for the B.A and its egg, 2 bacon, sausage, beans and chips. There was quite a difference between the two. And drinks are not included.
Sausage: score 0.75.
I won't beat about the bush - sad to report that the "sausages" (inverted commas are Very well deserved) served at Silver Spoon cafe are the worst I have ever encountered in any food outlet. Ever. Anywhere. The sausage looks like plastic when it arrives in front of you, the waxy skin has the look of a barrier made out of Joan Rivers' face, to either stop you getting inside, or more likely to stop the disgusting plop inside getting out. There is little or no discernible pork content and the texture.....well, what texture? We sliced one lengthways and pushed a fork down onto the filling. Disgustingly, the amount of force needed to squish through the filling was negligible, and the gooey mess squirted up through the tines like a watery, porky (?) version of the famous Old Faithful geyser. Truly horrendous.
Rest Of Meal: score 2.75.
Have a look at the top photo on this report, then at the bottom one. The top pic shows this year's breakfast, the bottom pic is the 2011 version. I'm sorry to state that this year's looks equally unappealling as the previous visit's. What do you think? Very poor presentation. My B.C breakfast was very disappointing, the bacon was scraggy and salty, the egg (just as in 2011) looked....unappetising. JS commented "How do they make egg taste not like egg?" And the sausage.....Junior Sidekick's B.A meal both looked and tasted better with a hefty mound of factory-produced chips dominating the plate, but again including the over-salty bacon, bloody awful banger, and bizarre egg. Unfortunately JS found several blue threads in his food, not hairs but some other alien presence. I checked out the cooks and none of them were wearing anything blue or fluffy, so this contamination must come from some other source. Not acceptable.
Service & Cleanliness: score 4.0.
Now, here's where the Silver Spoon made up some lost ground. The place is clean, bright and very friendly. The exclusively female servers are cheery, fast and efficient, and smartly presented. Good work! The cafe has a range of tables to accommodate varied-size parties from one to eight diners. The decor though - JS commented "Like an eighty-year-old's living room". Bizarre 3D animal pictures poke out of the walls in between plastic models of various kinds of dog. Crisp, clean and maybe a local theme would be so much better.
Our meals averaged £5.50, which means that the score for Price is 2.49.
Scores On The Doors (after 3 rounds, click the cafe name to read their report):
P1 Pedlars Hall Cafe 13.19
P2 Archers Cafe 12.25
P3 Silver Spoon Cafe 9.99
It's appropriate that Silver Spoon scored Nine Nine Nine, as their sausages are absolutely criminal.
Scoring & Rules:
Points will be awarded in four categories; Sausage, Service & Cleanliness, Rest Of Meal and Price. The first three will be scored secretly out of 5 by the two of us and the scores averaged. For Price we are again using the Little Chef Olympic Breakfast (£7.99) as the benchmark, subtracting each cafe's price from this, and the resultant figure is their score (minimum score is zero). Simples!
That would be telling! But if you run a King's Lynn cafe, and find a tip of £1.23, we've already come and gone....